I was too steamed to think of a good comeback last night, but sit on a tack, dude. Those were prescription slacks. No need to worry, FRIENDS. You’ll KNOW if this is directed towards you.
Mike and Watt Talk About the Great Gatsby Before anyone gets too excited, we might not have gotten Leo.
Mike and Watt Get New Pants Where there’s a Will there’s a Watt.
With hours to kill in the airport bar, I can’t believe there was ever a time where I thought I’d miss my flight because I played “the bongoes” on my naked body in front of a mirror for too long.
How to Tweet Like an NBA Player →
If you can’t play like them, you can at least tweet like them. Read “How to Tweet Like an NBA Player” and more funny articles on CollegeHumor
I’m going to England in a few days and, I have to say, I can’t wait for these British gals to go “mad” over my accent. I was born and raised on Long Island, but have been told I sound midwestern, so yeah, these “birds” are in for a treat—provided I don’t mumble or stutter. Which I tend to do when I’m anxious, like visiting a new country or...
Mike and Watt Are Up in Smoke Far off, man. (Previously: Mike and Watt)
10 Reasons Why I Should Get Justin Bieber's Monkey
1. I’d rename him Monkey Shaloub, but call him Tony. 2. I’ll buy bushels of bananas, mangoes, and apples, and be okay with eating whatever Tony doesn’t consume, throw at me, rub all over my walls, or put his mouth on. 3. I have Internet access, so we could watch videos of Justin Bieber if he ever felt nostalgic—just so long as he doesn’t mind watching the game when...
Stumbled on what could be a major discovery while testing out my keyboard after plugging it back in. Go to your website writing in spot. You know, the white bar thing. The place where you type websites in. C’mon, you definitely know what I’m talking about. Anyway, once you’ve figured that out, type in hotdog dot com. I probably don’t have to say it, but use the actual dot...
I’m wearing makeup for the first time since I—well, someone sitting next to me in homeroom—discovered that my mom’s concealer doesn’t make cystic acne go away and, boy, do I feel confident. There is absolutely nothing I can’t do, aside from maybe walk on the sun, shower again, or let my brother find out.