I was having this recurring dream about a little pig named Peanut who followed me around as I walked about the country. I would feed him apple slices I cut with a machete and he would laugh like a human baby. I think he was just a manifestation of all of the pro-vegetarian stuff I had read and seen, but I still consider him a good friend of mine. You can probably understand how I wouldn’t want to eat that, even if how I got someone to give me a machete remains a total mystery.
I haven’t seen Peanut in a while, but if I ever do see him again, I’ll probably just stare down at my feet and say “It’s not like I support factory farming or anything,” cut up a nice red apple, and wait for him to start giggling again so we can continue our journey.