collegehumor:

More Specific Drink Regulations

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg raised eyebrows recently when he announced his intentions to place a city-wide ban on large sugared drinks, so we decided to come up with some other—and hopefully more helpful—ways we can control how people consume their beverages.

Consider this your warning, Mike. Seltzer used to be my thing—I can’t afford to have any more dinguses (dingusi?) discover how crisp, refreshing, and sugar-free it is.