I’ll never forget how alone I felt in this world before I discovered the Internet. Finally, I had a place where I could admit that I enjoyed eating pizza without fear of persecution or ostracism. A place where my iconoclastic views could be displayed proudly and to a receptive audience. I was home, or so I thought, for even a visionary such as myself (see: the time I saved my leftover pizza for breakfast, or when I sprinkled some Sriracha on a slice) couldn’t foretell the Bacon Invasion.