Alex Watt is a staff writer for CollegeHumor.
Getting ready to put an end to this ill-fated experiment. That is unless someone decides to intervene and convince me that I do have the ability to grow an awesome, dignified beard…
No? I can’t? Okay, not a big deal.
Part 1.) If the girl you are talking to currently attends Hofstra University drunkenly tell them the story of how Wayne Gretzky defeated the odds by not only making the Hofstra football team as an undersized wide receiver but the New York Jets as well. Tell the story with enthusiasm and don’t forget to mention his struggles with head injuries. For additional points explain that even though you are a Giants fan you still have an incredible respect for Wayne Gretzky.
Part 2.) a.) Realize two days later that you meant to say Wayne Chrebet.
b.) Come to terms with the fact that there is no way any girl cares about that story, regardless of whether it was Wayne Gretzky or Wayne Chrebet.