collegehumor:

20 Things You’ll Buy in the Fall (But Really Shouldn’t)

6.  Store-bought Halloween Costume -  There’s no rule that you have to go out on Halloween. That being said, there is one that you’ll look like a giant dweeb if you buy a prepackaged costume at the store. No matter which costume you choose, when you buy your costume at the store, the only thing people will see you as is an uncreative, cheap material-wearing fool. On top of all that, not making your own costume pretty much guarantees that someone else at the party will be wearing the same thing—which can be pretty humiliating, especially when that other person is twelve-years-old.

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If I had it my way, there would be a CNR reference in each and every one of my articles.

collegehumor:

America’s Most Unwanted

(Click through to see the other bandits)

‘Cause ain’t no such thing as halfway crooks.

collegehumor:

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

4. Inviting that Orientation Week friend home for Thanksgiving - When you’re young, three months might seem like a long time to have known a person. The truth is, you don’t really know someone until they have had the opportunity to make a complete and total fool of themselves in front of your family. It doesn’t matter if it’s making eyes at your younger sister, insulting your racist uncle who definitely had it coming but agreed to drive you back to school, or leaving your toilet with the tricky handle in such an unpleasant state that it reduced your mother, who once worked in an emergency room, to tears, your guest will do something to ruin the holiday. Something no one in your family will ever forget or let you live down, even after the friendship is terminated.

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My biggest regret from college is not living every day like it was NBC Thursday.

collegehumor:

New College Slang Words: Part 2

(Click to learn see rest)

My latest article for CollegeHumor. 

collegehumor:

The 25 Phrases You’ll Hear During Orientation Week, And What They Really Mean

Translation: This meeting is run by people who don’t know who you are. They won’t know if you attend or not.

(Click through to see what else you should know for orientation)